Musing on hormone therapy, nearly four years in.
October 2018.
I remember the apprehension I felt, after meeting with my oncologist and picking up my first packet of Tamoxifen, from the hospital pharmacy.
Just one little pill a day, it should have been the easy part of treatment, after two surgeries, chemo, radiotherapy and booster rads.
Fast forward nearly three years and nine months - yes, I'm definitely counting - into a ten month plan - and discarding Tamoxifen and Letrozole in favour of Exemestane, it's not been easy.
Everyone reacts differently to these drugs, but for me, I've been plagued with hot flushes with all of them.
Some days my whole body aches, and the weight gain associated with these drugs has all accumulated around my middle.
I feel like Humpty Dumpty.
As a positive, the initial hair thinning I had has finally slowed down during the last year, and it no longer looks as if I have a combover on my crown.
Many times over the past three years I have contemplated quitting, and self prescribed myself week long breaks at various times, when the side effects get too much.
Definitely not something I'd recommend, but for me, it was the difference between quitting completely or carrying on.
Fatigue has been cumulative with the exemestane.
I've learned that if I have a relatively busy day I'll be wiped out the next.
I used to beat myself up about being lazy, but now I just accept that I need to take things at a slower pace.
Being thrown into a chemical menopause with chemotherapy, aromatose inhibitors seem to exaggerate the menopause symptoms that may have appeared naturally.
There was no gradual buildup of side effects, no option available of using HRT to control the symptoms, just wham, bam - hello menopause.
I do feel that oncologists are quick to gloss over the side effects of aromatose inhibitors.
And while I can't fault the care I was given during active treatment, there is a definite lack of aftercare - and understanding - of the impact of aromatose inhibitors on everyday life.
In February of this year I took part in a podcast with the wonderful Victoria Derbyshire and three lovely ladies, discussing the side effects of hormone therapy.
I will admit, I recorded the podcast with my feet in a bucket of cold water and a fan on standby for an impending hot flush!
And Then Came Breast Cancer is a series of podcasts by Victoria Derbyshire, each focusing on a particular angle of breast cancer and its aftermath.
I love the format of these podcasts.
They're great to have on in the background, and so relatable.
