Sales nil, caffeine high. Pineapple cream and pensions.

When it comes to rash decisions to spend hours upon hours skulking in a draughty temple for a craft fayre that no one attends, I wonder at my judgement.

And why I ever expect it to be different.

Next year, I get tough.

This year, I'm jaded.

Day one....sales nil, footfall fickle.

Footfall aplenty for the free buffet and wine, only to dissipate to nothing after the last mince pie had been consumed.

Thank goodness for the free wine.

Day 2.

Today is the grey brigade of lovely old ladies looking for coffee, company and gossip.

But not lovely old ladies wishing to spend.

Looking around, I am opposite jewellery for a pound and decoupage cards reminiscent of the 1980s.

The stall next door is selling hand crafted wooden bowls for £5 and another has cross stitch toilet roll covers.

I had no idea people still cover toilet rolls.

More to the point, WHY do people cover toilet rolls?

The 79 year old man on the next stall has spent a full 15 minutes standing in my space peering at me stitching a fox.

Before that he was putting my tea cosies on his head.

I'm ignoring him.

Thank goodness for coffee on demand.

Today I will be free wheeling on caffeine.

And as an added bonus I have discovered that pineapple and cream makes a fabulous cake and will be pilfering the recipe.

Will I do it again?

Absolutely, definitely not!